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HomeMy WebLinkAbout2003-04-09 PIEDMONT ENVIRONMENTAL COUNCIL Promoting and protecting the Piedmont's rural economy, natural resources, history and beauty Statement to the Board of Supervisors Regarding Funding for ACE April 9, 2003 Thank you very much for renewing your commitment to protect farms, forests and open space by restOring $450,000 of the $650,000 cut from the Acquisition of Conservation Easements program. Your program has become the model for several new purchase of development fights programs in Virginia. There's even interest nationally in imitating ACE's income scale to help ensure that money spent on buying development rights encourages rather than chills the donation of conservation easements. We're looking forward to a good set of applicants for Round 4 ready to protect permanently land high in environmental, agricultural, historic and scenic value. you for making Round 4 possible. Thank RECEIVED AT BOS MEETING Clerk,s/nitialsL~ Headquarters EO. Box 460 %:wrcnl. op., %\ 201,'t8 340-.34-7 2334 Fax 540 34.9.9(103 ~Mbemarle l l 11 Rose Hill DriTM St~il't~ ()flP (;[1,1rJo! tcwi![c, V5 22003 804-977-2033 Fax 80-1--977-6306 Clarke 30 East Main Street Bc.'rvvilhx, \:.\ 2261 I S H)-955. gO00 Vax ~40-935 9010 802 Children's Ccntcr Rd. S3,V I.ccsbtJrg, V..-k 20175 ?03 669 '199i) Fax 703-669-2213 Orange 130 W. Main gr., SLc 206 P.(). Box 206 ()!'an~c, V,\ 22960 54:0..672 01 '.b I I'ax 3.14) (,72 6265 Rapl:vahannodr 12717 T.cc 1 [Jglm Wa,;hingron, V.\ 2274~ 5:30 987.g4..I [ I.:ax 54.0-987-94~.3 Children Learn What They Live A little boy, the youngest of three children, had a habit of sucking his thumb. What would a mother do to help him stop this behavior? This child's mother cut his little thumb open with a razor blade and rubbed tabasco sauce into the open wound. After one frustrating evening, she hung him by his shirt collar, on a nail in the wall for his grandmother to find. Eventually she left him permanantly in his grandmother's care. This child is my husband. After having survived abuse as a child from the hands of someone he loved, my husband became an abuser. Cl-fildren who have grown up in abusive households are far more likely to create an atmosphere of abuse in their own households. We learn from example. Do you sometimes hear yourself say things you have heard as a child? I decided never to remm to my husband last June when I was answering questions from an intake worker at the Shelter for Help in Emergency. I was asked how often my husband abused me. My children were with me, one of them sitting in my lap, while I tried to answer. It was difficult for me to verbalize how frequent the abuse was; every month, every week...? My sm-year old volunteered the answer while I struggled: "Mommy he hurts you every day." My son knew the answer because I had not been able to shelter him from that knowledge. I had not worked with him to learn to tie his shoes every day. I had not studied math problems with him every day. I had not helped him even to clean his room every day. But he had already learned to identify abuse. Will he turn int6 an abuser as he becomes an adult? Or will he become a victim? The Shelter for Help in Emergency has a program for community awareness and education to help families identify abusive behaviors. Women who live in these types of relationships do not typically leave after the frrst incident of abuse. During the course of the relationship it is imperative that they have resources and education available to draw from in order to survive. This is one of the programs that will not be available after the proposed budget cut. RECEIVED AT DOS MEETING Date: /Y/- Agenda Item #: Clerk's Initials: _t'~_~ Effects of Domestic Violence on Children Domestic Violence Hurts Children Too Children growing up in violent homes are not immune from the effects of violence, even if they aren't the primary targets of the abuse. Children may witriess the abuse and even begin to learn and repeat the abusive behaviors that they are exposed to. Ir is estimated that family violence is prevalent in 3 ro 4 million American homes. Reports by battered mothers show that 87% of children wimess the abuse. In a national survey of more than 6,000 American families, 50 percent of the men who frequendy assaulted their wives also frequendy abused their children. Children who wirness domestic violence are more lilcely to exhibit behavioral and physical health problems in- cluding depression, anxiety, and violence towards pee?s. The7 are also more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drags and alcohol, run away from home, engage in teenage prostituuon, and commit sexual assault crimes. Slightly more than half of female victims of intimate violence live in households with children under age 12. Children can be injured as a direct result of domesdc violence. Batterers sometimes intentionally injure children in an effort to intimidate and control their adult partners. These assaults can include physical, emotional, and sexual abuse of the children. Children are also injured - either intentionally or accidentally- during attacks on their mothers. Assaults on younger children may occur while the mother is holding the child. Injuries ro older children often occur when an adolescent attempts ro intervene in violent episodes. There is a correlation between domesdc violence and child abuse. In a national survey of more than 6,000 American families, 50 percent of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequend7 abused their chil- dren. Children can be adversely affected by witnessing domestic violence. Although many parents believe that they can hide domesdc violence from their children, children living in these homes report differend7. Research suggests that between 80 and 90 percent of these children are aware of the violence. Even if'they do nor see a beadng, the7 hear the screams and see the bruises, broken bones, and abrasions sustained by their mothers. Infants exposed to violence may not develop the attachments to their caretakers that are critical to their develop- - ment; in extreme cases they may suffer from "failure to thrive." Preschool children in violent homes may regress developmentally and suffer sleep disturbances, including nightmares. School-age children who wimess violence may exhibit a range of problem behaviors including depression, anxiety, and violence towards peers. Adolescents who have grown up in violent homes are at risk for recreating the abusive relationships they have seen. --Statistics from the Family Violence Prevention Fund Shelter for Help in Emergency Volunteer Manual Domestic Violence, page 13 RECEIVED AT BOS MEETING o~,~: ¥~ ¢ ~'~.~ - Agenda Item #: , ,, Clerk's Initials~ ~/,~/ ,, 04/07/03 I want to tell you about the last 7 years of my life. Unwed and pregnant at 18, I returned to the man who was the father of my baby. lie was an older married man, whom my family did not approve of. I felt isolated and abandoned after I refused to have an abort/on. My boyfriend, showed me the attention that t did not receive from family or friends. Without the knowledge to recognize the difference between healthy attention and destructive behavior, I fell victim to k/s aggression. After having gone against my family's w/shes to be with him I could not find the strength to admit that my boyfriend was hurting me. I lied to myself, my family and my friends. There were times that he strangled me, threatened me with a knife at my throat, and pushed me down the stairs while I was pregnant with his first child. And then he would tell me that he loved me, and I would for~ve Iris unforgivable behavior. The bruises and fingerprints that he left on my skin were from an accident or clums/ness. The marks on my neck were hick/es. Flow could I tell anyone that ~[ allowed myself to be treated like th/s? And then after 2 years during wkich I caught him with'other women, was strangled until I blacked out, thrown out of the house in nothing but my pajamas, accused of sleeping with my brothers and even my minister, I had a beautiful wedding. My husband stood beside me w/th alcohol on/-tis breath and an unshaven face, and promised to love arid cher/sh me. M~ son was now 2 years old and from the womb had heard the sounds of our fighting. On~ month after our wedding my husband hit me so hard in the face thakhe fractured my skull. I refused to go to the hospital but I did go to a shelter. I had been before to Nde from him, to teach him a lesson, to hide from the public. But this time I heard the stories that the other women told about things that had happened to them. I couldn't lie to myself or to them with my face so swollen from his beating. I could not say that "it wasn't that bad". I didn't say much, because I still was not ready to leave. In fact we wanted another child. I told the counselors that I was excited about having another child. t felt that this time my husband would be different. I had my second son 13 months later. My older son was now begkming to realize that he had to protect me from my husband. He began to get between us, to yell at my husband, and to hold me when I cried, the worst thing I have ever seen in my life is the shudder that went through his body when he saw my husband throw me across his room. I screamed while my son burst into tears and grabbed my husand's leg to stop him from kicking me. My oldest son started to ask me why daddy hurt me. I had no answer to that question. I told him that i~ wasn't ok to hurt people and that what daddy did was wrong. But the example that ~[ set was that in fact it was ok to treat someone this way. My son began to have night terrors and violent tantrums that lasted hours mud sometimes resulted in vomitting. My younger son had terrible colic and could not sleep at night without me holding him. At times he was in my arms when my hugband hit me. People have asked what I did to anger my husband. It is difficult to explain the reason why he treated me the way he did. I loved him and I know that he loved me. The moments of rage came from~jealosy, his feeling of being trapped, money problems, problems at work, family issues, etc. The. behavior is a disease similar to addiction. I was his enabler. I didn't break the cycle of abuse until I realized that one of us was going to die. I visited the shelter 4 times before I made the decision to leave, I talked to counselors on the phone, I went to a therapist who was attatched to the shelter, but finally when I realized that I could not change the way he acted, and I could not survive a lifetime or even a year more of the abuse. I have scars on my face and hand, neck and back problems and nightmares of pain and suffering. My children have memories of fear and chaos. I blame myself for not having the strength to leave before they had to bear witness. But I thank God every day for the resources and people who were there for me. Even when I was in denial of the obvious, they held my hand and gave me the strength to survive, and finally to leave. When I think of all the women who'shared thier stories with me, and all the women who like me, stayed behind the curtains in th/er pretty houses, I pray that when they are ready to choose freedom, they will find and utilize the same resources that were available to me. The hardest thing I have ever done was to leave this man that I loved, whom I had planned a furore with, to have my freedom. Especially in the face of the public who chooses to look the other way. No one wants 'to hear that this man who does so much for his community, is a monster when he becomes angry. Even you can read this story and look at me and think to yourself that it is only a story. I look no cfifferent today than I did then. I dressed nicely, I was friendly, I laughed and smiled just as much. But the nights of terror and pain were hidden away, except from the people at the shelter. I was and am a refugee. I never would have left my husband ifI had not been able to get the help that I needed. No other public service, except possibly the police/rescue/fire department, has as much value in our community as the Shelter for Help in Emergency. Without the community education to teach the public about this epidemic of violence, your sisters, daughters and grandchildren will become victims. If the community is not given the tools to break this pattern of behavior people w/Il continue to allow it to happen. You cannot stop a man or a woman from hitting another person if they choose to do it, But you can help the victim realize that it isn't acceptable. The only way this can be done is through education and Support. Without this valuable peice of the puzzle our community will continue to use tax dollars to have our police respond to the most hazardous call they can receive. From there begins the most expensive process of going though the court system. For me this process has required 18 court dates in the last 6 months. I am only one of thousands of cases. Imagine the cost of all these court dates. And without prevention in the form of education, how many more cases will come through the system as our city grows. This disease is not confined to a lower income poulation or any specific socio- economic background. Why should victims suffer because the city doesn't feel the need to support them. Are we not valuable to this community? I recall voting in the last election. At least in the prix{acy of a voting booth I could adm/t that I needed help, how many other people could make the same decision? I am asking for your help for me and the thousands of women that you have met who cannot tell trier stories even to themselves. Thank you for listerfing to mine. I have given my name and phone number so that you can call me if you would like to talk to me about my exper/ence. I am grateful to the shelter for the support that was g/ven to me, and in return I have broken the silence to share my stow so that you can find a way to help someone you love find this community resource. Da/sy S. White (434) 465-6611 The Courts' Response to Domestic Violence - Victims of Domestid Violence are subject to the whims of the judicial system. They rely on the courts to intercede when their lives are at stake. It is a difficult decision to make when a victim leaves family and home and puts her life into the hands of a government authority. It is the ultimate act of trust for an individual who has been betrayed. When the courts decide these cases they are not typically given the attention they deserve, A typical victim has endured mukipte acts of violence and injury before making the decision to involve the court system. The court can only decide on the events that are brought before them, not on previous undocumented instances. Another difficulty is that most instances of domestic abuse do not leave much evidence. The victim is embarrassed and does not document the occasions. She may also have a natural tendency to min/mize the assaults. It is typically difficult for a victim to function as a witness in front of the perpetrator, dub to the emotional relationship between them. The courts' role is to decide whether the events took place or not, but with limited evidence and an unw/lling witness the victim of domestic assault usually becomes a -victim of the courts as well. What happens when the victim goes home? After having taken the defendant to court the danger level increases. Domestic disputes are one of the most dangerous situations for police offcers to respond to, and in the past has been handled with little or no interest. "In ~he legal Arena, class action civil suits against police departments argued successfully that police responded more slowly and with less seriousness to violent crimes committed between non-strangers than they did to stranger crimes". (Iovanni, Learm and Miller, Susan L., "Criminal Justice System Responses to Domestic Violence: Law Enforcement and the Courts" Sourcebook on Violence Against Women, 2001). ,An0_the, r sticking point for the victims as well is the court's attitude: ~.Ui2til ~ec~l~l};, j{idges had been known to admonish battered women seeking legal remedies for taki)3..g t~P. ~119 ~Plt.1'ts ygluable tane. (Iovanm, Leann and Miller, Susan L., Crmamal i.Jilst~~ $~fe~ Responses to Domestic V~olence: Law Enforcement and the Courts'~ 8oUrcch~¢l~; ~l,:¥io,lCq~. Agaip...s.t ~W9;~men, 2001). -,, t.t?.M~'''''''~i'l .,. courts still maintain the idea that the female victim of domestic violence remains in a destructive relationship by her own choice. This attitude allows perpetrators to continue their behavior without consequences. "Research on the attitudes of probation officers toward domestic violence reveals that they often discount the abuse and believe victim-blaming excuses, such as she provoked it, she asked for it, she stayed even though '~ Was happening and even, she enjoyed it--all of which reflect little or no understanding of the dynamics of battering (Mullender, 1996, p.204; Swain, 1986). Improvements recently have come in the form of mandatory and presumptive arrest policies, which require police officers to rmke an arrest without testimony from the victims. Arrests can be made after an officer has collected enough evidence from the 'crime scene' to determine that an assault took place. Making an arrest and finding a perpetrator guilty Of domestic assault is not the end of the story in many cases, u~ortunately. "...there is the victims safety to consider. On the one hand, a victim may benefit from the perpetrator's incarceration--she will be safer for a time being and better able to consider her options. On the other hand, a perpetrator may become more enraged about the increased involvement of the criminal justice system and seek retaliation upon release" (Iovanni, Leann and Miller, Susan L., "Criminal Justice System Responses to Domestic Violence: Law Enforcement and the Courts" Sourcebook on Violence Against Women, 2001).